A Compelling Story

Carolyn: The Silent Secret is a story of extreme bravery and fortitude. Carolyn's fight to survive is an inspiration to all victims of domestic violence.

Many domestic violence advocacy organizations, like McHenry County Turning Point, work to give victims of domestic violence options that permit them to leave violent situations – enabling them to end dangerous situations like the one Carolyn lived with for so many years.

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We Never Suspected

"If you suspect something, then you start looking for clues, but if you don’t suspect something, you are not looking for clues and neither one of us suspected anything."

- Jim and Beth Wester,
Friends of Carolyn Cox

Exerting Control

"So then there is the verbal abuse. Then it becomes name-calling…it becomes insults…there’s a pinch that becomes a push and then a punch."

- Carolyn Cox,
Domestic Violence Survivor

"Women who were abused did not talk about it. It was a household matter that was kept secret. Divorces did not happen."

- Nichole Owens,
Chief of the Criminal Division in McHenry County

The Silent Secret

"So over the years, you go on. You make things work. Your children get older. You get involved in homework and all their school activities and you do not stop to think you are exhausted from making all this happen and every so often, there is a black eye or your head is being held to the floor or against the wall saying I will not tolerate this or that from you anymore."

- Carolyn Cox,
Domestic Violence Survivor

Carolyn Today!

Carolyn's Hope

"I am moving on with my life and I want to give hope to others that they can do the same. All abuse victims…we need to keep on going. We need to quit walking on eggshells and we need to put on our shoes and become our own person. We cannot mislead ourselves into going back into relationships for our children or whatever excuse we come up with."

Carolyn Cox, Domestic Violence Survivor

Carolyn's Darkest Hour

A Will to Survive

Carolyn beaten nearly to her death

Carolyn lived 40 years of her life as a victim of domestic violence…. Until she nearly became one of the fatalities of domestic violence.

Carolyn’s story is one of extreme bravery and fortitude. Her fight to survive is an inspiration to all victims of domestic violence.

Carolyn now travels the country talking to groups to warn others about the dangers of ignoring the silent secret of domestic violence.

The Message Continues

The Messages Continues

"I just would like for women, like me, to realize that you can get beyond it. It’s tough, but you need to take that step...I don’t think they are blossoming or growing when they are under or stifled to that extent. I don’t think the children are either. I am sorry…I am pained because I think my children lost their childhood. I thought I was staying in it for them to take care of them, but I think in the long run, they really lost so much of their life."

- Carolyn Cox,
Domestic Violence Survivor

Carolyn Speaks in Canada for Women's Crisis Services

Carolyn recently travelled to Canada to speak for the Women's Crisis Services for the Waterloo Region near Toronto. Here are links re: their news coverage. The first is the newspaper article, and the second one, is TV coverage --it displays after an ad.

Click image below to view

Click the image above to read the article or this link to The Record, where it was published. D’Amato: Even the wealthy can suffer spousal abuse.

Click here to view CTV Kitchener - News Coverage

We Have the Power to Stop Domestic Violence

"We have the power to stop domestic violence. We have to say violence is never okay. We can do that in our community…in our neighborhoods, county, state, nation and internationally. We can stop domestic violence."

Jane Farmer, Executive Director of Turning Point - Woodstock, Illinois

Join with us to stop domestic violence! Download a pdf version of this poster, Carolyn: The Silent Secret and help spread the word.

Prosecuting the Case

"A part of me was fearful for her that they would come back not guilty because it could happen in any case.

It was one of the toughest cases that I have prosecuted because of the resources the defendant had. We had a lot of experts that we had to impeach and convince the jury not to believe them. We had to fight them with our own experts. In an attempted murder case…and this was an attempted murder case, with an eyewitness to it…being Carolyn the victim…

It was the end of her battle against this defendant who almost killed her. It was very emotional. It is the type of verdict that you would expect to see in movies.

Carolyn’s case sends a message to abused women that it can happen to anybody. She came forward in this case with such high publicity I think a lot of women realized that they are not alone."

Nichole Owens, Chief of the Criminal Division in McHenry County, Illinois

Stop Domestic Violence

"... women die all the time due to the hands of their partner in domestic violence. It is a serious crime. It is 35% of the women that go to the emergency room. It is the #1 cause as to why women will visit the emergency room. It is higher than car accidents, muggings or assault by a stranger combined."

Jane Farmer, Executive Director of Turning Point - Woodstock, Illinois