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Carolyn: The Silent Secret

Carolyn now travels the country talking to groups to warn others about the dangers of ignoring the silent secret of domestic violence.

"Over the last 3½ years, my life has taken me down a path I could never have envisioned and as I go down this path, there is a responsibility I have to be able to relate what led me down this road and perhaps it can help someone else.

I guess I would like to just make my voice loud enough to know you can do this. You can testify if you have to. You can reach out. You can go through these things. It is possible. It is better than what the other alternative for me would have been and that I wouldn’t be here.

I convinced myself. I did not fit the image of abuse and most abusers feel the same way as well. Well, this is some of my story how I came down this road and it is still evolving as I go on. I want to stress that the victim is not at fault in any way and they need to put guilt away. I want to stress that we have to watch our legal system to see that our victims are protected."

Carolyn Cox,
Domestic Violence Survivor

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The Facts

The issue of domestic violence is about power and control
It typically takes a woman seven times to leave an abuser before she will leave for good.
With limited resources and children to protect and provide for, victims of domestic violence often feel they must stay in abusive environments.
Fear, shame, and lack of someone – some where – to turn to, keep them in situations that are demoralizing and violent – putting themselves and their loved ones in constant peril.

- Jane Farmer,
Executive Director of Turning Point - Woodstock, Illinois

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Carolyn's Secret

"I really feel that the social impact in my situation and with women like me is an enormous influence on keeping this quiet. I just would like for women, like me, to realize that you can get beyond it."

- Carolyn Cox,
Domestic Violence Survivor

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March 2010